The Groupie

Have you ever known someone who is so anxious to be considered one of the "in" crowd that they will say and do anything they think will get them accepted. That happens a lot around here with my two boys. Samuel is the cool crowd and Thomas desperately wants in! As a result, he will follow Sam around, repeating whatever he says and mimicking whatever he does. Fortunately for me, this most often involves coloring these days (one more reason to be thankful that S was never a wild kid). They are affectionately known around here as "Monkey See" and "Monkey Do." Case in point, today on the way to church, Sam had a very itchy leg:

Sam: "I itch mom. Why does my leg itch?"
Me: "Probably because your skin is dry. When we get there we'll put some lotion on it."
Sam: "But it really, really itches. I can't make it stop itching."
Thomas: " I know Sam!! How about we BOTH be itchy??"

This may not be good if, say, Samuel takes up any of the many activities I would not want his brother doing as well. On the other hand this could work to my advantage if I can just convince Sam that it is worth his while to be nothing but a good example. Any ideas on how to do that?

Meet Raffi (part 1)

We will never be able to claim him as a tax deduction, but Raffi is the true third child in our home. Raffi came to us via the zoo gift shop when in a particularly generous moment and the lure of 20% with our zoo membership, I allowed Samuel to pick out a toy for being so helpful with his brother. To my surprise, his souvenir of choice was a little stuffed giraffe. I steered him toward the rubber snakes. No thanks, mom. How about these cool magnifying glasses? Nope! I was afraid this stuffed animal was destined to join the rest of the junk at the bottom of the toy box as soon the newness wore off and he realized that stuffed animals were not all that much fun to play with. How wrong I was!

Throughout the next few weeks, this toy originally known as "my little pet" was Sam's constant companion. Always in his hand or pocket and always next to him at night, he had captured Sam's fancy. I was pleased, but not surprised since it had always been Sam's style to pick a toy and fixate on it for a few weeks at a time. After about 2 months, it was clear that Sam's little pet was here to stay for awhile. We decided he needed a name and asked Sam what he wanted it to be:

"Um...little pet?"
"Little Giraffe?"
"My little pet giraffe...?"

He had no idea, so J suggested Raffi as a joke (as in Giraffi!) and it stuck. Raffi he became. This post has been a long time in coming and in the meantime, I have been chronicling all of the Sam/Raffi adventures intending to have put all this down before. Someday when I get all the pictures together they will have their own book since there is nothing else that has defined Sam's personality this year so well as his relationship with his little buddy.

When Raffi came to stay, Sam started collecting all the other "pets" in the house of similar size and would set them up for bed or an adventure before bed almost every night! This is the night he put them all in their "room"

This night they all went a-sailing...

He also led several parades across the floor of his room, but I can't seem to locate the picture.

Raffi always gets his own pillow whenever possible and S

gets very excited when he finds anything Raffi-sized.

Going for a ride in the firetruck

And leaving on a jet plane

Raffi came everywhere with us. Someday I will go back through all of our picture books and count the number of pictures in which Raffi is unobtrusively held by or near Sam. I would suggest we leave him in the car at the store or on various other outings and the very idea was always met by shock and a suspicious glare. I think he would have turned me into the authorities for negligence for that if he could. So Raffi came along and more than once, when my absent minded four year old would casually set him down somewhere, we would backtrack across town (with, I admit, a little panic in my heart that we might have lost our Raffi) to rescue him. We finally compromised on me keeping him in my purse when we got out of the car, which thankfully satisfied Sam although he would ask to see him or to make sure I still had him three or four times on any given outing.

Sometime around May every year, Sam starts talking about what he wants to be for Halloween. Around July he decided that Raffi needed a costume and that he should be a parrot (have mercy) I don't actually know how I would have handled that one, because thankfully he switched to him being a ghost. Now that I can do!

Both boys start watching the clock around 4, hoping dad will walk in the door soon. Several times, I found Raffi standing sentinel at the front window, left there by Sam to alert him the minute J pulls in the driveway.

As anyone who has been anywhere near Sam in the last year can attest, Raffi shares his opinion via Sam very freely. The phrase "Hey mom, you know what raffi thinks...?" is thrown out frequently. Raffi also has an amazing sense of humor apparently because he knows so many jokes and constantly compels Samuel to share them with all and sundry. This is particularly awesome for me because I get to "laugh" at twice as many four year old jokes. Lately Raffi has been a good bridge between me and S for helping to define what is appropriate funny and what is not. For instance:

S - "Mom, do you know what Raffi thinks is funny? He thinks showing underwear is reeeaaalllyyy funny." (giggle, giggle, snort)

Me - "Uh-oh, did you tell Raffi that underwear is private and we shouldn't show it to people? I bet he doesn't know that."

S - "Oh!? Um, yeah I told him."

Also, back when keeping Thomas in bed all night long was a full time job, I eventually realized that by offering to let Raffi sleep with him, he would stay put since actually getting to hold the elusive giraffe was something Sam wouldn't allow in the daytime. Sam sleeps like rock once he is out and sneaking Raffi away was no problem, and on the rare occasions that he noticed that Raffi had switched allegiences in the night were explained away with an innocent shrug of the shoulders and an "I guess he wanted to sleep by thomas." Of course this was a perfectly natural explanation for one who never questioned that Raffi was real and did whatever he wanted to. Even now, Thomas will wander into our room in the night about once a week and want to climb into bed. I walk him back to his bed and he is still satisfied with Raffi's company as a substitute for mine until he falls back asleep.

Way to be a parenting buffer Raffi!

(to be continued...)

What has J been up to?

Many of us might be dismayed at having bruises that look like this, but I have never seen anyone more excited to get banged up a little. In between running his own company and managing major crisises (sp?) within said company, J has joined a semi-pro football team here in town in order for the chance to put on pads and a helmet again for awhile. He is back in the linebacker position and having a great time! I panicked a little when he came home with these bruises (which he assures me are completely normal for the first few weeks of football ??!!) because we are in between insurances at the moment and last year's stint on a flag football team resulted in reconstructive surgery on a torn tendon in his finger. All I ask is that he doesn't break his body in any way until insurance kicks in a few weeks from now. Cross your fingers for us.

Thomas (who can barely hold his head up straight in the heavy football helmet) is also getting into the spirit.

The "my teacher knows more than you" syndrome

Today I was subjected to my first ever experience of the "My teacher knows more than you" syndrome, when Samuel came home from preschool to tell me all about the fire safety stuff he learned that day. Now, generally I would probably admit that any given teacher does know more than me, but I can't fight it when Samuel misunderstands what he heard and is convinced it is still right because "his teacher told him." For instance, he told me all about how if there is a fire, you are not supposed to scream or yell because "it will make the fire bigger" you are apparently not supposed to run if there is a fire for the same reason. I expressed my doubt that and he burst into tears.

"Why are you crying???!!!"

(sniff, snort) "You said miss Julie was wronggggg!"

(sigh)

Am I wrong? Has the fire safety standard changed since I was a kid? I agree with not neccessarily running, but the last thing I would want while searching through a smoky house is a kid who stays mum because he is afraid to make the fire bigger.

"But Miss Julie said so..."

What to do? Also, I kind of want Miss Julie to be wrong because I don't really like being replaced as the supreme authority on everything. I knew it would happen eventually, but had no idea it would be this soon.

They grow away so fast.

March 17, 2009

Since Jay's maternal grandfather was Irish, we thought we would expose the boys to their authentic Irish roots! So, we pulled out the green clothes and had a leprechaun named 'Lucky' leave (chocolate) gold coins all over the house and magically turn all the food green for the day. You know, just some of the basics of the culture! All three meals were green, just like they have in Ireland ;-)

Breakfast was complete with green eggs and lime yogurt (and goofy morning faces).

Lunch was lime jello jigglers, green mac'n'cheese, and green milk (by the way, if you put a few drops of food coloring in the bottom of a frosted/see-through glass - so they can't really see the bottom - and pour the milk in, they watch it pour in white and come up green. This nearly blew Samuel's mind. He thought he was witnessing Leprechaun Magic. Who am I to argue?)

Sam got into the spirit of having a Leprechaun in the house for the day and decided to leave him a snack; a tangerine, a banana, a donut divided into quarters, one blackberry, an apple, a pudding and some salted water (yes, salted. I don't know either...) and of course, utensils to eat it all with. While his back was turned, "Lucky" helped himself to some of it.

Dinner - Pesto Chicken Pasta, Green Apples, Jello and milk. Sam was a little concerned about being pinched and the fact that he didn't have any green pajamas to wear (I told him that the leprechauns pinch you if you don't wear green), so "Lucky" left one last coin on their pillows and a note saying good-bye and he would see them next year.

Proud to be 1/8 Irish!

The First Sign of Spring

Around here I do not consider either the warmer winds or the appearance of Robin Redbreast as the first sign of spring. Spring has never officially sprung for me until mid-march when Samuel enthusiastically comes running to find me with one of the newly emerged yellow crocuses around our yard. I still have pressed and framed the first one he ever brought me in March of 2007. It touched me because it occured to his little barely three year old self to bring his mom a flower without any prompting or coaxing of that perfect hallmark moment. I will be very sad when he doesn't come running to me with them anymore. Little "Monkey See, Monkey Do" has also picked up the tradition and their requests for what I do with them are getting more and more awesome (i.e. "Put it in your hair mom!").

I have very sweet boys! Disregard anything else I might say about them around dinner time on any given night.

Me and Disney -- An Exercise in Co-Parenting

Lately I have found myself very grateful to the Disney company for thier assistance in raising my children. Aside from the fact that the boys love all the movies, Disney has incorporated all kinds of little life lessons that help me to make my point when I am raising my kids. All of these are things we have discussed outside of the example of disney shows, but I got some blank stares and could tell things weren't really sinking in (I'm getting used to this look). Here are the actual topics (always brought up by the kids themselves after viewing) we have discussed so far

Cinderella - If you do a good job cleaning, then good things will happen to you.
Finding Nemo - If you run away from us when you aren't supposed to you could get lost for a long, long time (but mom and dad will always come find you).
101 Dalmations - If someone bad takes you away mom and dad will never stop looking until they find you (a little morbid, yes, but still as important to instill in little minds as stranger danger).
The Lion King - If you tell the truth and admit when you think you did something wrong in the first place you might save yourself getting banished to a desert oasis (or, you know, whatever...) This one also inevitably raises the question "What happened to Simba's dad?" which is a little awkward at this age, but a good time to point out that even if parents die and have to go away, they still love you and watch over you.
Fox and the Hound - It doesn't matter if someone looks different than you, you can still be friends.
Pinnochio - When you tell lies, you ultimately get into more trouble (this has been a big discussion around here).
Snow White - Don't take candy (or poison apples) from strangers because they might want to hurt you.
Jungle Book - When adults tell you to do things (even when you don't want to) they are usually doing it to keep you healthy and safe.
Dumbo - It makes people sad when you make fun of them for looking different.

Of course some of the themes we do not get into much such as in the the little mermaid where the heroine teaches children everywhere that if you defy and ignore your parents and do your own thing anyway you may ultimately end up married at 16 to a person you don't really know far away from your family (and that it is a good thing...). Or the fact that the Robin Hood reminds me too much of the Democratic Party's take on the world today. Obviously who the boys decide to support politically in their adult years is TOTALLY their decision, but we may just "accidently" lose Robin Hood for awhile! That's all I'm saying...

I know some people have a beef with the Disney company and complain about how commercialized and how ultimately corrupted it is etc. etc. but I am standing up in defense of it here and now. So if you are one of those people, let's just not talk about it and I will still like you!

In the meantime, there is nothing like a little visual aid to help pound moral lessons into your little darling's head. Try it. Thank me later.

Handsome Regardless

Yesterday Samuel spent quite a while creating a very specific hat. He just called it a "hat with two bumps" and I could not get out of him if it was supposed to be imitating a real hat. It was not a cowboy hat or a crown or anything else you might think a hat with two bumps might be. He finished it and we put a ribbon on it to hold it on his head and he immediately ran upstairs to check out his creation in the mirror. A while later, I noticed he wasn't wearing it anymore but assumed hs had stashed it with the rest of his artistic treasures. As he sat at the table for dinner, he seriously asked:

S: "Mom, do you think I am handsome."
Me: "You are very handsome"
S: "Because I looked at my hat in the mirror and didn't look handsome, so I took it off."

Ah Ha! Poor Sam has had his first artistic angst with his creation not resembling what is in his head. Or is he developing a teenager-like obsession with his looks at the age of five?

In other news, Thomas bid us a "G'night Fools!" as we tucked him in last night. So he is apparently two going on teenage gangster.

Me? I definitely feel my age today.

First Day

Since you are all no doubt dying to know how the first day of preschool went, I can assure you that it was all Samuel ever hoped for. We were not even buckled in yet before he was asking when he gets to go back. I am specifically writing and saving this post to warm my weary heart on future mornings when I have to drag him kicking and screaming out of bed for school. I think these are officially the "good old days" so I'll try to enjoy them while I can.

This was shortly after Samuel told Thomas he would miss him while he was at school (said with a definite note of pride) but that he would come home and teach him what he learned. And he actually did!

And this is where Thomas hung out all morning, pounding fruit snacks and watching Peter Pan twice, while I frantically finished all my articles that had a deadline of today so I wouldn't have to miss book club that evening. You know, just some of that quality mommy/Thomas time I mentioned was important. You just can't put a price on it, right?

At some point on any given day, my kitchen looks like this...

Apparently the bounds of creative genius around here are too large to be confined by mere table or counter top. Although that may need to change since the baby gut makes bending over to sweep up the little pieces during clean up harder and harder. If you ever come over and it's still on the floor, it means I have given up until mid june-ish.

So, there is a lot of drawing and cutting and pasting in our house (often not where we are supposed to. Not a day went by last week that Thomas did not get his hands on a pen and "decorate" the couch, which has by now become more of a conversation piece than an attractive place to sit.) Today in particular, Samuel spent 3 hours earnestly creating and cutting out a monster and aphid army. We read the grouchy ladybug awhile ago and for some reason, the Aphids in the book captured his fancy the most, so we have seen a lot of drawings and had a lot of discussions on that particular bug. Aphids and Monsters together I don't so much get, but that is my boy for you. Here is the final result (not including the ones he taped to his wall). Now he calls them "my paper friends." I know, I know...he is going to school tomorrow where he can make real friends of the human boy variety.

Thomas, who would leap off a cliff if his brother deigned to do so first, has also spent a lot of time creating and we are actually pretty proud that his art is now recognizable. Today, while sam was churning out his strange army, Thomas drew picture after picture of J. Each one he proudly brought to me and announced that it was a picture of "Cranky Daddy." We can't figure it out since J hasn't been home from work before 8 any night this week and hasn't been here much to be cranky or otherwise. Given the dad-working-late-every-night scenario, it would make much more sense if T was drawing "cranky mommy" pictures, but I seem to have been spared for the moment. Here is the masterpiece complete with a guided tour. Not bad for a two year old!

1. Eyes, mouth and chin (no nose!)

2. Arms

3. Legs

As long as this post is about the generous muses in our home, I am going to share another Samuel creation. When he is not talking about aphids these days, he generally wants to talk about camping and what we will do when we go and what J has done when he went, etc. These discussions led him to draw this picture tonight:

1. A half view of me climbing a mountain (why it is so small compared to everyone else's mountain is not something I am willing to think about at the moment).

2. J climbing his mountain.

3. Samuel's mountain

4. A river with a fish jumping out.

5. Samuel cooking a fish on a stick over a campfire.

6. Samuel's tent

7. Thomas and his mountain (Seriously?!! The two year old can hack a bigger mountain than me? Not thinking about it...)

One of THOSE moms, and totally okay with it!

Samuel starts preschool on tuesday. He is five now, so that shouldn't be such a big deal, but he has never been, and I realize now that I have been making excuses and putting him off despite the subtle signs that he is ready (such as his daily requests to start school for the last 6 months or the counting down until kindergarten and asking me to give him homework). I have frequently been accused of being one of "those moms." You know, the kind that will bravely waves Jr. off to school and then breaks down in tears in the car and goes home to ignore the rest of the kids for the day and wallow in a pint of Ben and Jerry's. This is opposed to the kind of mom who blithely waves Jr. off to school and then goes home to ignore the kids for the day and celebrate with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Subtle differences, yes, but differences all the same. Don't get the wrong idea, though. I am not one of those patient, saintly moms. Not a day goes by that at some point I don't wish the gypsies would knock on the door and make me an offer. The boys have become each others best friends and worst enemies and I am growing weary of the constant referreeing, which is what hardened my final resolve for Preschool enrollment. I am amazed at the myriad of ways they have found to torture each other beyond the usual hitting, kicking and poking (and occasional punching, S gave T a black eye a few weeks ago. Am I raising Wren boys or what?!) Anyway, Thomas, who has a particularly strong dose of what my sister dubbed "the little brother gene" (those of you with little brothers know what I am talking about) has discovered that he gets a really awesome reaction when he licks Samuel. Yes, licks! I don't know whether to laugh or spank his bum when he does it. Samuel tends to carry on like he has been poisoned though, so it's definitely effective. You can't argue with results and T is particularly savvy at recognizing what benefits come along with which actions. For instance, he mimicked Jay, who said I looked pretty when I came down for church a month or so ago. Based on my enthusiastic reaction, he has been inspired every Sunday to coyly look at me with his big, blue eyes and say "you look pretty/bootiful, mama." I assure you he gets well rewarded. Sam's preferred method of torture is to steal thomas' nose. Yes, you read that right. Samuel has somehow picked up on the standby joke of grandpa's everywhere and will pinch thomas's nose, casually announce that he is not going to give it back and wait for the howls. And oh, the howls! Thomas is horrified and will not be placated until I intervene and "make" Samuel "give him back" his nose (all the while thinking, " I went to college, I went to college..."). Sometimes I give him mine and the look of sheer relief on his face his comical. There is no catching it on camera, but it is definitely genuine.

In preparation for new baby sister (gasp, milestone...) we have moved the boys into thomas' room and set up bunkbeds, which they are thrilled with, of course. Who wouldn't like a bed that involves a ladder, a potential fort (when you curtain off the bottom bunk) and a certain element of height and danger? Every time I go in to tuck them back in, I get a tug on my heart that they are both growing so fast. Bunk beds just seem like such a big boy thing. I know 5 and 2 1/2 are still little, but it doesn't feel like it when you notice that they have started to run like little boys and not toddlers, or don't fit on your lap as well anymore. Or, when your five year old carries on intelligent conversations about aphids and the many ways you can kill slugs. Or your two year old spends the afternoon running around with a football, slamming it onto the ground and concocting his own honest-to-gosh end zone dances while shouting "Yes!! All Right!!! I'm awesome" I am definitely proud of who and what they are becoming but I do miss my babies (probably a good thing that we have another one coming along very soon). It occurs to us all the time now that Thomas is the exact age Samuel was when T was born. We thought he was so old then. Someday, when my boys are in middle school and are too cool to hug their mom, or have become sassy teenagers, I fully intend to look back at this post and laugh at myself for thinking they are so big. In the meantime, I am going to try to enjoy the spontaneous hugs and kisses from Thomas and the love letters that Sam leaves for me around the house. I will try hard not to think about school being one of the first major, independent steps away from me.

See, so we are all growing! I am excited to see what he gets out of school. He is only going two mornings a week, so we are baby stepping to Kindergarten, where I assure you that I will be an even worse wreck. Feel free to check back in August, when I will be president of the "one of those mom's club". Thomas will get something he has never gotten before, which is Mom's undivided attention for a few hours a week. We have felt that was an important thing to do for him as well before little sister comes along to cut into his already limited personal mom time. I'm pretty sure he will spend most of his special mornings asking where samuel is. There will be no one around to lick. Boring!! But on the other hand, his nose is totally safe.